The starting point to achieve whatever we want in life is to know exactly where we are. Identity is everything.
How to find who I am? That’s the question that allows us to determine that we don’t know where we are.
Regardless of the term “where we are” is not related to where you are in a specific path. Nowadays is extremely “normal” be attached to inferiority feelings because my neighbor is getting more things than me and we are the same age. NO! Everyone has his or her own way and we decide if we go through it or if we create a new one every day. You’re not too old or too young, you’re just living your life immersed under your own belief system thinks is your place.
Celebrate that you have your own belief system because it means you have the ability to change it and therefore, change all the perceptions of your life.
Powerful Tools to Define Yourself
One of the most important things I’ve learned in this journey to achieve my Best Version is that we need to define exactly who we think we are. However, we are not equipped with the tools to start a definition of ourselves with the clarity that we would enjoy so here are some tools that you can use to solve this problem. Make the decision to write down a text where you can see clearly who we are.
Here are some powerful tools:
1. Discovering our roots: roles, behaviors, professions, incomes, past, future, possessions, tides, metaphors, emotions, feedback, looks, accomplishments, spiritual beliefs, or even what we are not. I do not remember in all my life being taught about this. My life changed when I figure out this. Whether we should have just one definition, it does not come from one root as I thought during many years, it comes from all these roots.
Let me explain to you this with an interesting example. If you believe that you’re good swimming it can be for your previous experiences (past), because your dad is really good on that so you should have the genes (roles or references), because you perceive incredible feeling when you are in the beach or pool (emotions), because you think that swims is easier than ride a bike (metaphors), etc. As you can see, your identity can be shaped for many different sources and many different reasons.
Now, take your notebook and write down the emotions you feel have an impact in your life, later the roles you think you have (do you have brothers and you’re the younger? That is a role. Or if you are a parent.), your accomplishments (rewards, good grades, sport competitions, etc). Analyze one by one.
In the end, find the way to mix all that information in some paragraphs and you will find who you are.
Remember be completely honest and clear. Don’t lie to you! Your Best Version will be grateful if you are honest because just being honest, you’ll see all the things that you can improve and develop.
2. State of mind: a positive state of mine have determined the success of people more than money. When you are positive your brain creates better connections to find solutions and its power is led by the skill to find answers.
Realizing the previous exercise, please be careful to be in a good mood. Remember a beautiful experience, listen to music, dance a little bit, visualize your dreams and your goals already here, go for a nap, whatever that works better for you but create a positive state of mind first. The reason? Because if you are not positive your mind will focus on negative things and will increase your feeling that you’re not doing the things well (even if that is not true).
Once you feel that you are happy and positive, take your pen and let it go!
3. Look at the mirror: what do you see? Analyze. Write it down. Now, take those notes and think what are those beliefs that allow you seeing whatever you’ve seen there. This exercise is extremely powerful because you are not going to focus on what you’re looking at, you are going to focus on the glasses you’re using to do it. These glasses are your beliefs.
Being aware of your beliefs is an extremely powerful tool in the process of self-awareness because you’ll be able to understand how your interpretations have been defining your life. How can you see the difference? Remember some things you’ve just seen in the mirror and use other glasses.
4. “Repetition is the mother of mastery” by Stefan James. I read this beautiful quote every morning immediately after I wake up. It allows me to remember that the only way to master any skill is through the committed and total applying of that. Repeat this process at least one per week. Read your identity every day. If you notice that some things are not defining you anymore, delete it!
Go all in with this process and you’ll find where you are in a couple of months. I don’t know if you’re willing to invest in the next Tesla, Google or Apple but the decision to find yourself will pay much more dividends at the future than any other decision you can make today. Trust me!
Our Identity Evolves
Fortunately, our identity is not static but dynamic. It is constantly changing so we can decide the direction we want it takes. Immediately you finish the previous exercises you have to start writing down the skills, abilities, features, emotions, behaviors that you want to feel or develop in the future.
See the person who you want to become. Define every aspect as clear as you can. Maybe this exercise will take you a couple of hours or even more, don’t worry about it! Even if you spend two days, the results will be greats anyway.
Before we keep going on the topic it’s necessary for you to realize that your friends and peers will have a deep impact on your life. You should know, as well, that any perception that you have of your friends is a reflection of whom you believe you are.
We are talking about “labels”. When you’re associated with some kind of actions by your family or friend group, you’ll start acting consistently with these behaviors even if you notice it or not.
Remember, the previous process is just to find yourself. It is the first step because if you want to go to London, you need to know where you’re. Your first reaction where you look at a road map is to discover where you’re. Immediately after that, you decide the place where you want to go and then, you develop your plan or you choose the best way you’ll take.
Here is when the magic happens! Now that you know who you are and whom you want to be you need to establish on paper those thoughts like your new reality and your new life. Give yourself some feedback immediately when you notice that you are acting in the way you want.
Be patient! This is not going to happen in two days or maybe one week. This is a long process because it needs to be repeated and repeated, practiced and practiced. But if you’re completely committed to achieving your Best Version, you’ll do in spite of the roadblocks you can find in the process.
Be like a kid and don’t limit yourself. Believe that you can achieve whatever you want in this life (because you can!) and write it down again!
Your Future Identity
Once you’ve decided whom you want to be your next step will be acting consistently with the actions that the person you want to become would take. Yeah, I am talking about total and complete commitment.
You have to feel, breath, respond to the people in the same pattern that would do the person you want to become. Indeed, it is not going to be easy but it is extremely powerful. At the moment you start acting different your brain will understand that you are different and it will give you tools and instruments to achieve your own goals that you didn’t have before.
Commit yourself regardless of the environment and the people in it. You have the power! Think about these questions carefully: the people with I spend time will help me to build this identity or not?
If the answer is negative, you know what it means. Get surrounded with people who reinforce the labels that you’ve decided to incorporate in your life.
The Ultimate Tool to Achieve It
In the process of living, we are taught to ask for many things. We live in a society that only thinks in terms of consumption and acquires more and more. That’s good, in fact. The problem is that we never take enough time to practice gratefulness.
If you want to achieve more and reach more, be grateful for the things that you already have.
Maybe your financial situation is hard or you’re having some marital conflicts, but I am completely sure that there tons of good things that are happening in your life right now. Life is a gift so if you could wake up this morning and start a new beautiful day, be grateful for that. Be grateful for your family, for the stupid car that doesn’t work on some occasions, or by your noisy neighbor.
When you start doing this your mind will understand that you’re made for better things. There is the moment when your Best Version comes out!